Today is January 6th, 2019, the first Sunday of the New Year and I am currently in a coffee shop, sitting next to my best friend (& husband) John.
Tomorrow marks the 1-year anniversary of the Sunday we packed up both of our cars with all our belongings and made the 14-hour trip from Maryland to Florida to embark on a new chapter in our lives. Towards the end of 2017, we knew the Lord was calling us to a new season of training, equipping and preparation and the place where we were to receive all of that and more was Deeper Fellowship Church in Orlando.
It has been 1 year since we took a leap of faith in God, trusting Him to provide each and every one of our needs as we decided to follow Him to a new state, a new church, new friends and community, new levels of faith and growth and eventually new jobs. And He has done exactly what He promised.
To be honest though, 2018 was one of the most challenging years of my life. When I look back on the year (only 6 days out) I see a lot of tears from dealing with different emotions about different things. I see lots of grasping for air as I struggled with stress, anxiety and panic attacks. I see me missing having our own space as John and I were blessed to stay with my parents for the year while we got settled here in Florida. I see lots of indecision and fear as I started Write Light twice – once in March and once in August, both times deleted and pushed off. Even this post has been a struggle to actually sit down and write, as I had hoped to begin on the 1st.
But here I am, on the other side of this past year, and looking back at it all there are other things I see too.
I see John gaining a new passion for photography, being blessed with great mentors and a new camera and really thriving in this gifting. I see the people God has placed in our lives, church friends who have now become family and we have all grown in the past year through new jobs, new entrepreneurial endeavors, new marriages, new babies, new commitments to what God has for us in this season. I see the shepherds of the church God sent us to truly walking out a Spirit-led life, hosting the presence of the living God and cultivating an environment where we are experiencing true revival. I see my parents faithfully serving God in their retirement, loving on people the way the Bible commands. I see me building relationship with my dad who I hadn’t known for 27 years of my life and my whole family on his side. I see John and I moving from some-time, to part-time to full-time positions allowing us to move into our own apartment and start building towards our future. I see me cooking more and getting outside for walks, and jogs and swims, even in the Florida heat. I see the precious times spent with friends and family in California, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina and Texas. I see the people in my life encouraging me to keep writing, to be brave.
I see God drawing me closer to Him throughout it all, calling me, inviting me to come closer to Him, to sit at His feet. I see Him drawing me to new levels of faith, and trust, and belief and freedom. I see Him, in the good and the bad of 2018. I see the Lord high and lifted up, seated on the throne of my life.
I see His joy, His grace, His mercy, His favor, His provision, His protection, His peace, His comfort, His healing, His power, His wonder, His humor, His tenderheartedness, His strength, His love, His light surrounding me, filling me, and drawing me deeper.
2018 was a year of transition. It was a year of revealing the hidden things in my heart and my life so that I could surrender them to the Lord and allow Him to do His deep work within me, because 2019 is here and there are great things in store for me.
I couldn’t stay where I was, moving through life still holding onto the same routines, past hurts, negative thought patterns, excuses, strongholds, sins, beliefs and more that were holding me back from intimacy with my Father.
I still have a lot to work through, to write out and process, but I’m thankful for this journey of faith. I’m thankful for the growth. I’m thankful for the New Year because now I see clearly that everything that 2018 brought – the good and the bad – was all to make me stronger, braver, wiser and to draw me right into the arms of my loving Father.
And He desires to draw you closer too.
I don’t know what your 2018 looked like, but what I do know is that this year you can decide that no matter what you see you will continually seek the Lord with all your heart and draw closer to Him every day, because He is calling you deeper.
Can you hear Him?
“Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.” – Psalm 42:7-8 ESV
Grace & Peace,
Write Light is a faith-inspired blog about my journey of faith in Jesus Christ. My purpose is that I would bravely walk out my faith in God & write about the light of His Son Jesus. So that you would know by His Holy Spirit & believe in your heart that He exists, that He loves you with an everlasting love, that He created you to be brave & to be light. My hope is that this space & these words encourage you in your own journey of faith & inspires you to be brave enough to love others deeply as you allow your light to shine through the creative gifts that God has called you to.